Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What, when building a house, are the necessary wires (beside 120v) to future proof my house, Cat6, Coax, low voltage, and alarm wires?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Go inside the development of NASA's $10 billion James Webb Space Telescope with new 'Cosmic Dawn' documentary - Space

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How did my ex move on very fast?

I actually pay taxes

I see through liars

I can read

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

In your opinion, who is the most overrated singer/band/artist in modern music history and why?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

How can I handle my distrust and jealousy for my partner?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why is Donald Trump criticized by so many people?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What advice would you give to a father of a teenage daughter on how to protect her from boys, dating, and social media? How should fathers discuss these topics with their daughters?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened